The Story…

Trev and I started trying to have a baby six months into our marriage. When things didn’t occur as planned we started seeking medical help. After 4 years of no success we decided to go the adoption route but the process of getting in all the paperwork to be approved took us a year and a half as I was flying back and forth for training in California every other month. Then, last summer we found out that we were pregnant. We were so surprised and excited that we told all our friends, sent care packages announcing the pregnancy to my family and planned to surprise Trev’s family at his upcoming family reunion. Unfortunately, two weeks after we found out, I miscarried. It was the most horrific thing I’ve ever had to go through. Trevor was absolutely amazing through the whole thing and was really the rock I needed. I never want to go through that again, but the silver lining was that we became closer and stronger as a couple than we ever were before. I am grateful for that. Over the next year I thought I was pregnant several times. My hopes would sore just to come crashing down when all the pregnancy tests came back negative. I learned to hold off on taking a test for a couple weeks when the symptoms came on and my period would usually come or the symptoms would just go away. Meanwhile we were feverishly trying to get our adoption papers finished so we could finally be approved. We felt really good about this route so we continued forth. In May we got word that our file was in order and that we were approved and on the waiting list! We were so excited. Then, the last week in July we got a call we’d been hoping for! Our case worker had a baby who was due in 5 days and wondered if we wanted him. There were some complications with the birth and the baby would probably have some problems due to the birth mother’s drug use and hereditary health problems. The baby was also coming from another agency so the fee was more than double what we were planning on and we’d have to come up with the money by the time he was induced. We would have done it all, though, if it was right. Trev came home from work early and we prayed like crazy and even consulted both of our sets of parents. But we couldn’t get a good feeling. We tried and tried but when it came down to it, this was not our baby. So we called up our case worker and had to tell her no. Thankfully we had complete peace about the decision we made. The thought that kept coming to my mind was how could I take someone else’s baby away from them because he did belong to another family who was waiting just like us. Well, a week after saying no, we found out we were pregnant. I’d had some symptoms but by this time I knew that it was probably just my period. I hadn’t had one since March so it was about time. Trev and I were preparing for a 3 day Youth Conference Trek/campout and as the time grew closer and the symptoms weren’t going away I figured I’d just take a test so I could go on the Trek without worrying. So two days before we were to leave I got up and took the test. I had no hopes whatsoever because I just new that test would come back negative, just like always. You can imagine my SHOCK when I looked at that stick and it clearly said PREGNANT. I couldn’t figure out how this could be true. I went and woke up Trevor. I couldn’t even talk. I just showed him the stick, turned it over and sat there stunned. We both were speechless. It still surprises me. Well, as you can imagine, I went to Youth Conference but didn’t go on the 6 mile hike. I had miscarried the year before after going on the Girls Camp hike so I took the safe road and stayed in camp. I’ve had several weeks of morning sickness which actually visits in the afternoon but am hopefully getting better (knock on wood). It’s longer between visits to the ceramic throne, at least. This last week we had a bit of a scare. I woke up and noticed blood. I was spotting. Luckily, I had my scheduled doctor’s appointment that afternoon so I took the morning off, stayed in bed until my appointment and then Trevor took me to the doctor. My doctor is really great and called in another doctor to do an ultra sound. The first one didn’t show a heart beat. At that point I was bracing myself for a miscarriage but when he went in another way he found the baby right away. I started crying from relief and awe that we could see the baby so well. The baby kept stretching and moving while we watched! It was absolutely the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. The doctor measured the baby again and moved my due date up 3 days which means I’m now 12 weeks along. He said that the miscarriage rate drops to 5% now that we’ve seen a strong heartbeat! Keep praying for us, though. We’ll need all the help we can get from above to get this baby here safe and sound.